GRASPING LIBERTY

Taking risk vs. Taking precautions, the former being the road less travelled...

Recently, I took the road less travelled. The situation wasn't that easy but I braved it all..all for the sole purpose of liberating one's self. It was a spontaneous decision..never thought I could go that far but I did. Some would have judge me- stupid, some...desperate. But for me, it was a feat for inner and outer freedom and I don't think anybody can just do what I did...I bet.

I must admit, the result was kinda greater than I have expected but I know I can manage. I have gone this far already and there's NO turning back. This is the moment wherein, there's no ROOM for regrets...only HOPE.

Sadly, though I have projected a mindset on it, there is still one thing that I have to glance even for just a while..thing that is worth glancing back. It was the thing that I have given up. So precious..so good to be true..so perfect-like yet, it don't deserve me as I don't deserve it too.

Even for making a decision in letting go,I battled with all the reasons and rationalizations. I don't know if I have made the right choice but..it was a feeling that has been disturbing me for quite a time and I just have to make a final bow or be saturated in confusion, pain...or be always in longing for something. I knew I will lose myself if I hold on to it much longer. The more I grasp it, the more I felt hollow.

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so absurd yet flexible...independent but feeble. I know I'm making things complicated...why can't I just be happy, contented and move along. But how can I settle on such a situation wherein I myself is not sure anymore of what I truly feel and everyting just seem so vague. It would be so unfair of me...selfish and heartless to endure something that is not being reciprocated wholeheartedly, free from feigning.

And so here I am...have travelled alone...have faced the odds..have given up the diamond for a stone...but in HARMONY with myself. It's all that matters now. I will hang on to it until my steps are sure on where it will take me...